我們每個人內心深處都住著一個小孩，它是我們最純粹的本質和初衷。我們都是大自然的孩子，有責任保護自己的生命。然而，隨著年齡的增長，我們內心那個小孩往往被忽視，甚至被遺忘。結果，我們變得不那麼快樂、不那麼自由，並且在生活中感受到越來越多的壓力和消極情緒。
從孩提時代開始，我們就學會扮演各種角色，例如兄弟姊妹、父母眼中的乖孩子，或者是學校的優秀學生。然而，當我們必須扮演自己不喜歡的角色時，不僅會增加壓力，還會減少探索我們真正喜歡的角色的機會。因為這樣的生活習慣，我們內在的小孩被壓抑在潛意識深處。
即使到了成年甚至中年，我們內在的小孩仍然在潛意識中發揮影響，使我們的思想和行為顯得幼稚和衝動。如果不讓這個內在小孩成長，我們就會缺乏必要自我意識。幼稚的想法往往導致失敗，而衝動的行為則可能帶來損失。這些現實，將迫使我們重新審視自己的成長歷程。
在童年時期，許多孩子被要求遵守規則，不允許按照自己的喜好行事，例如不能看太多，不能問太多問題，要聽從父母的安排等等。這些教養方式限制了孩子的自由、好奇心和創造力，成為內在小孩無法成長的根本原因。因此，反思童年的感受，發現那些失落的部份，是幫助內在小孩成長的關鍵一步。
一般來說，在生活中學會的角色越多，我們的能力就越豐富。只要這些角色不衝突、不引起恐懼，我們就可以沉浸其中，甚至收穫別人的讚賞、從中得到快樂。然而，那些需要我們壓抑情緒的角色，卻是內在小孩成長的最大障礙。如果小時候就扮演克服恐懼、忍住淚水的"英雄"角色，那麼我們成年後就可能會發現很難表達自己的情感。同樣，如果我們害怕被嘲笑而不敢表達自己真實的需要，也會抑制內在小孩的成長。
或許我們小時候特別喜歡扮演某些角色，因為它們能激發了我們豐富的想像。然而，如果外界的種種因素阻礙了我們實現自己的願望，長大後就可能失去堅定的自信。人的成長過程，是一個從情感到想像，再從想像到理性和意識的不斷發展的過程。一旦這個過程被打斷，各種恐懼就會藏匿在心裡，成為我們獨立和自覺成長的障礙。
我們需要找到潛意識的源頭，用意識的光芒照亮它，才能讓它徹底消散。重新扮演童年角色，重溫內在小孩的感受，或許能提供一種治癒的方法。然而，我們需要在與所愛的人的互動中，自覺地、充份地體驗它。如果能順利完成這次經歷，我們就能擺脫過去的陰影。這意味著，我們需要建立一個愛的關係，並幫助彼此內心的小孩成長。而且，愛的增長，也是內在小孩變得成熟的最重要標誌。
在愛的氛圍中，透過有意識的角色扮演，我們可以更深入地認識自己幼稚的行為和想法，不再以情緒表達作為對抗的手段，而是以平和、理性的方式實現自己的願望。隨著內在小孩的成長，我們也獲得了獨立的人格，能夠以穩定可靠的方式保障自己的生活。畢竟，我們所有的成長，都是為了讓生命能健康地延續下去。
內在小孩象徵我們原本不完整的意識。然而，除了意識之外，我們的身體、本能、情緒和習慣，都無法代表我們。因此，內在小孩的成長，就是意識的成長，也是一個追尋真理的過程。只要我們擁有完整、充份和真實的意識，就能為生命的發展創造更多的可能和機會。
值得注意的是，我們在生活中養成了各種各樣的習慣，這些習慣與本能和情緒一起，構成了我們的多重自我，呈現出複雜的內心世界。讓內在小孩成長，正是一個打破習慣和淨化心靈的過程。在這個過程中，我們逐漸放下自我，將意識成長作為最高目標。這讓我們更加關心自己、別人和世界，用愛建立更和諧的關係。
25. 情緒像萬花筒的圖案 (上一篇)
27. 做情緒的觀察者 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (26)
Let the our inner child to grow
Deep inside each of us lives a child, which is our purest essence and original intention. We are all children of nature and have the responsibility to protect our own lives. However, as we grow older, the child within us is often neglected or even forgotten. As a result, we become less happy, less free, and experience more and more stress and negativity in our lives.
From childhood, we learn to play various roles, such as siblings, good children in the eyes of parents, or excellent students in school. However, when we have to play characters we don’t like, it not only increases stress, but also reduces the opportunity to explore characters we actually like. Because of this kind of living habit, the child inside us is suppressed deep in our subconscious.
Even in adulthood or even middle age, the inner child in us still exerts influence subconsciously, making our thoughts and behaviors appear childish and impulsive. If we do not allow this inner child to grow, we will lack the necessary self-awareness. Naive ideas often lead to failure, while impulsive actions may result in losses. These realities will force us to re-examine our own growth process.
During childhood, many children are required to follow rules and are not allowed to act according to their own preferences, such as not watching too much, not asking too many questions, obeying their parents' arrangements, etc. These parenting styles limit children's freedom, curiosity and creativity, and become the root cause of the inner child's inability to grow. Therefore, reflecting on childhood feelings and discovering those lost parts is a key step in helping the inner child grow.
Generally speaking, the more roles we learn in life, the richer our abilities. As long as these roles do not conflict or cause fear, we can immerse ourselves in them, even gain appreciation from others and get happiness from them. However, roles that require us to suppress our emotions are the biggest obstacle to the growth of our inner child. If we play the "hero" role of overcoming fears and holding back tears as children, we may find it difficult to express our emotions as adults. Likewise, if we are afraid of being laughed at and dare not express our true needs, we will also inhibit the growth of our inner child.
Perhaps as children we particularly enjoyed playing certain roles because they sparked our rich imaginations. However, if various external factors prevent us from realizing our wishes, we may lose our firm self-confidence when we grow up. The process of human growth is a continuous development from emotion to imagination, and then from imagination to rationality and consciousness. Once this process is interrupted, all kinds of fears will hide in our hearts and become obstacles to our independent and conscious growth.
We need to find the source of the subconscious mind and illuminate it with the light of consciousness so that it can completely dissipate. Re-enacting childhood roles and reliving the feelings of the inner child may provide a way to heal. However, we need to experience it consciously and fully in our interactions with our loved ones. If we can complete this experience successfully, we can get rid of the shadow of the past. This means that we need to build a loving relationship and help each other's inner child grow. Moreover, the growth of love is also the most important sign of the inner child's maturity.
In an atmosphere of love, through conscious role-playing, we can gain a deeper understanding of our own childish behaviors and thoughts, no longer using emotional expression as a means of confrontation, but instead realizing our own wishes in a peaceful and rational way. As the inner child grows, we also gain an independent personality and are able to secure our own lives in a stable and reliable way. After all, all our growth is for the purpose of allowing life to continue healthily.
The inner child symbolizes our originally incomplete consciousness. However, apart from consciousness, our bodies, instincts, emotions and habits cannot represent us. Therefore, the growth of the inner child is the growth of consciousness and also a process of pursuing truth. As long as we have a complete, full and real consciousness, we can create more possibilities and opportunities for the development of life.
It is worth noting that we develop various habits in our lives, which, together with instincts and emotions, constitute our multiple selves and present a complex inner world. Letting the inner child grow is a process of breaking habits and purifying the mind. In this process, we gradually let go of our ego and take the growth of consciousness as our highest goal. This makes us care more about ourselves, others and the world, and build more harmonious relationships with love.
On May 26, 2023
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