每個人都有一個內在小孩，這是我們最純粹的本質，也是我們最實在的自我。我們本質上就是大自然的小孩。但隨著年齡的增長，我們的內在小孩往往被壓抑、被忽略，甚至被遺忘。這樣的結果是，我們變得越來越不快樂、越來越不自由，生活中的壓力和負面情緒也越來越多。
當還是小孩的時候，我們學著扮演不同的角色，例如成為兄弟姊妹、學校的好學生，或者是父母的乖孩子。當我們扮演不喜歡的角色時，不僅感到壓力，而且更少機會做自己喜歡的事情，我們的童真就會被壓抑在潛意識中。
當進入成年和中年，由於這種潛意識的影響，我們的想法和行為仍然不成熟，因為內在小孩沒有被允許成長。幼稚的想法導致不斷受到挫折，而幼稚的行為則導致屢屢遭受損失，這些都迫使我們回顧自己的成長歷程。
小時候，我們不可以做自己，而被要求循規蹈矩，不可以多看和多問，必須聽從父母的安排等等。這些管教模式剝奪自由、壓抑好奇心和創造力，都可以是內在小孩無法成長的原因。因此，我們需要深入地理解自己的經歷，看看自己曾經扮演的角色有甚麼欠缺。
角色扮演是人生中必須學會的事情。一般來說，無論我們扮演哪個角色，只要不抗拒和沒有恐懼，就能深入地演活它。對於那些別無選擇的角色，只要儘力投入，那麼不但別人會欣賞，我們也會從中獲得喜悅。
然而那些需要壓抑自己的情感的角色，最容易阻礙內在小孩的成長。例如成為一個必須克服恐懼、強忍眼淚的英雄，會讓我們長大後仍然不懂得表達自己的感受，或者因為擔心被別人嘲笑而不敢表達，使內在小孩受到壓抑。
也許小時候特別喜歡某些角色，因為可以投入更多的想像。如果當時受到種種因素的干擾而不能得償所願，那麼我們長大後也會失去那種堅定的自信。
潛意識的陰影很難揮去，必須發現它的來源，用意識之光去照耀它，我們才能讓它徹底消失。我們可以讓內心回到過去，再當一次小孩。但必須帶著意識，在適當的人面前（例如愛人），並且全情投入。若能圓滿地演出，我們就可以從過去的陰影走出來。
表演過後，我們會對自己的幼稚想法和行為更有覺知，不再以情緒表達作為抗爭的工具，而是用和平、理性的手段去實現自己的願望。隨著內在小孩的成長，我們會真正成熟和獨立，並能穩妥地維護自己的生命。
25. 情緒像萬花筒的圖案 (上一篇)
27. 做情緒的觀察者 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (26)
Let the inner child to grow
Everyone has an inner child, which is our purest essence and our most authentic self. We are essentially children of nature. But as we grow older, our inner child is often suppressed, ignored, or even forgotten. The result is that we become less and less happy, less free, and have more and more stress and negative emotions in our lives.
As children, we learn to play different roles, such as being a sibling, a good student in school, or a good kid to our parents. When we play a role we don’t like, not only do we feel pressured, but we also have less opportunity to do the things we like, and our innocence is suppressed in our subconscious.
As we enter adulthood and middle age, due to this subconscious influence, our thoughts and behaviors remain immature because our inner child has not been allowed to grow. Childish thoughts lead to continuous setbacks, while childish behavior leads to suffering losses repeatedly, these force us to reflect on our growth process.
When we were children, we were not allowed to be ourselves, but were required to follow the rules, not to look and ask more questions, and had to obey our parents' arrangements, etc. These discipline patterns deprive freedom and suppress curiosity and creativity, which can be the reason why the inner child cannot grow. Therefore, we need to deeply understand our own experiences and see what is lacking in the roles we have played.
Role playing is something that must be learned in life. Generally, no matter which role we play, as long as we don't resist and have no fear, we can deeply embody it. For those roles where we have no choice, as long as we try our best to devote ourselves to it, not only will others appreciate it, but we will also gain joy from it.
However, those roles that require us to suppress our emotions, are most likely to hinder the growth of our inner child. For example, becoming a hero who must overcome fear and hold back tears, will cause us to not know how to express our feelings when we grow up, or not dare to express them for fear of being laughed at by others, causing the inner child to be suppressed.
Perhaps we particularly liked certain roles when we were young because we could put more imagination into them. If we were unable to fulfill our desires due to various factors at the time, then we will also lose that firm self-confidence when we become adults.
The shadow of the subconscious is difficult to dispel, and we must discover its source and shine the light of consciousness on it, so we can make it disappear completely. We can let our inner selves go back to the past and play child again, but we must do it with awareness, in front of appropriate people, such as a lover, and with full devotion. If we can perform successfully, we can get out of the shadow of the past.
After the performance, we will be more aware of our childish thoughts and behaviors, no longer using emotional expression as a tool for resistance, but using peaceful and rational means to realize our wishes. As the inner child grows, we become truly mature and independent, and able to securely maintain our own lives.
On May 26, 2023
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