顧及別人的需要和感受，是一種非常重要的能力，可以幫助我們建立良好的人際關係，讓彼此衷誠合作，生活順利。在人與人之間的互動越趨複雜的社會，我們更有必要培養這種能力。
生活中總會遇到不少麻煩和憂慮，但別人很難準確知道我們的感受。那些有關我們內心的問題，別人也真的是愛莫能助。即使建立了親密的關係，我們也無法把責任推給別人。關係的作用，只是為解決問題提供一些有效的助力，我們仍然需要獨立面對自己的問題。
遇到麻煩和憂慮，如果我們不懂得顧及別人，就會加重別人的負擔，削弱別人的助力。如果我們不關心別人的需要和感受，就不能理解他們的處境和情緒狀態，因此也不能更好地與他們溝通和互動。這樣關係就會倒退，或者失去作用，甚至變得消極。
有些負面的情緒，是由生活或工作相關的問題所引起。我們除了可以唱歌、運動，或者打枕頭發泄，也可以把煩惱寫在紙上，產生一種被看見的感覺。如果事情與親近的人有關，我們就必須及時溝通。我們也需要留意自己的情緒會否傷及親近的人。情緒生起即表示意識不足，這時候無意識的言語或動作都會令人感到困惑，而在親近的人心目中，我們的一切都非常重要。
別人也有他們的需要和感受，如果他們的需要不被滿足或感受不佳，也會缺乏幫助我們的力量。為了更好地解決我們的問題，也必須顧及別人。這樣可以幫助我們更快找到有效的解決方案，也能避免因忽略別人而引起的衝突。
如果對別人產生了負面的影響，我們在情緒平復之後，也應懂得請求別人的原諒。這是對別人的一種關愛，也便於別人日後繼續為我們提供幫助。在負面情緒中仍能不失對別人的關心，說明我們的意識已經成長。一個有同理心和同情心的人，在困難的時候仍會顧及別人。
人不可能沒有情緒，差別只在走出情緒所需要的時間。如果我們能在幾分鐘內恢復心境的平靜，恢復足夠的意識，就比較容易做到顧及別人的需要和感受。我們只能從提高意識來培養快速恢復平靜的能力，其他方法都不太有效。而提高意識也必須經過學習、思考和實踐，這是一個長期的過程。
39. 人生不是一場冒險 (上一篇)
41. 平靜地生活是對智慧的考驗 (下一篇)
The path to Tranquility (40)
Consider the needs and feelings of
others
Considering the needs and feelings of others is a very important ability that can help us establish good interpersonal relationships, allowing us to cooperate sincerely with each other and live smoothly. In a society where interactions between people are becoming increasingly complex, it is even more necessary for us to cultivate this ability.
There are always a lot of troubles and worries in life, but it is difficult for others to know exactly how we feel. Those issues related to our inner selves are truly beyond the help of others. Even if we establish intimate relationships, we cannot push the responsibility onto others. The role of relationships is only to provide some effective assistance in solving problems, and we still need to face our own problems independently.
When we encounter troubles and worries, if we don't know how to take care of others, we will increase the burden on others and weaken their ability to help us. If we do not care about the needs and feelings of others, we cannot understand their situation and emotional state, and therefore cannot communicate and interact with them better. In this way, relationships will regress, or lose their effectiveness, even become negative.
Some negative emotions are caused by problems related to life or work. In addition to singing, exercising, or venting by hitting a pillow, we can also write our troubles on paper to produce a feeling of being seen. If the matter is related to those close to us, we must communicate in a timely manner. We also need to pay attention to whether our emotions will harm those close to us. The emergence of emotions indicates a lack of consciousness, at this time the unconscious word or action can be confusing, and in the minds of those close to us, everything about us is very important.
Others also have their own needs and feelings. If their needs are not met or their feelings are not good, they will also lack the power to help us. In order to better solve our problems, we must also consider others. This can help us find effective solutions more quickly and also avoid conflicts caused by neglecting others.
If we have a negative impact on others, after our emotions have calmed down, we should also know how to ask for forgiveness from others. This is a kind of love for others and also facilitates others to continue to help us in the future. Being able to maintain concern for others in negative emotions indicates that our consciousness has grown. A person with empathy and sympathy will still consider the needs and feelings of others in difficult times.
It is impossible for humans to have no emotions, the only difference is the time it takes to get out of them. If we can regain a calm state of mind and regain sufficient consciousness within a few minutes, it will be easier to consider the needs and feelings of others. We can only cultivate the ability to quickly restore calmness by raising awareness, and other methods are not very effective. Raising awareness also requires learning, thinking, and practice, which is a long-term process.
On June 10, 2023
留言
發佈留言