關係是人類社會的一個基本元素，它涉及個體之間的互動和交流，是整體生存和發展的必要條件。人類趨向社會化，需要與別人在一起，才能滿足自己的心理需求。一個穩定的社會，也需要我們建立互相信任和尊重的關係。這些關係不僅可以減少孤獨和焦慮，提高我們的生活質素，更可以幫助我們建立親密的連結，讓我們感到幸福和滿足。
然而，如果我們缺乏意識，那麼所有關係都會建立在想像的基礎上。無論是與別人的關係，還是我們自己內心的關係，充滿了想像就會不切實際，隨時會引起對抗。但我們對獨自生活的恐懼又造成一種固執，即使對抗的關係無益也不想改變，繼續過著不健康的生活。
停止想像，我們將會看到真實的情況，所謂的朋友或敵人都是想像出來的。一旦意識到當前的關係是想像的結果，我們就不會繼續糾纏，而會走出自己的幻覺。只要我們停止想像，大部份恐懼和固執都會消失。
每一種關係都是人生必修的課程，不完成它我們也很難離開。在理智能夠跟上之前，我們無法抑制自己的想像力，而只能憑著想像去行動。與想像中的人一起生活，而不是一個真實的人，這是內心產生衝突的一個重要因素，因為現實與我們的想像不相符。要完成課程，我們唯有放下自我，觀察自己的想像和感受，在關係中培養更多的意識和理性。
通過對關係的專注，我們會發現，無論怎樣想像，在現實中所獲得的感受，都與我們的想像相差甚遠。這個發現說明了一個問題：想像包含期望，當期望與感受不一致，我們的自我就會不認可這些想像，這不僅妨礙我們朝著正面的方向想像，還會使想像變得混亂。
當混亂的想像終於停止，意識重新主導心靈，我們了解到關係的真相，這一期課程才正式完成，準備開始下一個階段。
回顧過去的關係，也許我們就會明白，那些充滿想像的關係，決不會是真正的連結。在真正的連結中，我們不需要期待，所有感受都與意識一致。我們也不需要那麼多想像，因為這種連結本身已經有很強的吸引力。在真正的連結中，我們只需活好當下，共同創造更好的生活，以及美好的未來。
除了母嬰關係，其他關係都是從我們與自己的關係培養出來的。這是因為身體的獨處時間，在心理上正是多個自我的相處時間。協調好各個自我之間的主次關係，或者建立平等的關係，我們才能擁有平和的心境，以及真正的獨處能力。而最徹底的做法，是找到真正的自己，並在這個真正自己的主導下與別人互動。這樣，我們才能建立一個帶有深厚連結的關係。
51. 滿足感來自學習和進步 (上一篇)
53. 有意識地走進內心世界 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (52)
Relationship is a required course
Relationships are a fundamental element of human society. They involve interactions and communication between individuals and are necessary conditions for the overall survival and development. Human beings tend to be social, and need to be with others to satisfy their psychological needs. A stable society also requires us to establish relationships based on mutual trust and respect. These relationships not only reduce loneliness and anxiety, improve our quality of life, but also help us establish intimate connections that make us feel happy and fulfilled.
However, if we lack consciousness, all relationships will be based on imagination. Whether it is the relationship with others or the relationship within ourselves, being full of imagination will be unrealistic and may cause confrontation at any time. But our fear of living alone creates a kind of stubbornness, not wanting to change even if the confrontational relationship is not beneficial, and continuing to live an unhealthy life.
Stop imagining and we will see the real situation, the so-called friends or enemies are only imaginary. Once we realize that our current relationship is a result of our imagination, we stop being entangled and will step out of our illusions. As long as we stop imagining, most of the fear and stubbornness will disappear.
Every relationship is a required course in life, and we cannot leave without completing it. Before reason can catch up, we cannot suppress our imagination, but can only act based on it. Living with an imaginary person rather than a real person, is an important factor in creating conflict within us, because reality does not match our imagination. To complete the course, we can only let go of egos, observe our imagination and feelings, and cultivate more consciousness and rationality in the relationship.
By focusing on the relationship, we will find that no matter how we imagine, the feelings we get in reality are far from what we imagined. This discovery illustrates a problem: imagination contains expectations, and when expectations are inconsistent with feelings, our egos will not approve of these imaginations, which not only prevents us from imagining in a positive direction, but also makes imagination chaotic.
When the chaotic imagination finally stops, consciousness re-dominates the mind, and we understand the truth about relationships, this course is officially completed, and we are ready to start the next stage.
Looking back on old relationships, perhaps we will understand that relationships filled with imagination will never be true connections. In a true connection, we do not need expectations, and all feelings are consistent with consciousness. We also do not need so much imagination because this connection itself has a strong attraction. In a true connection, we only need to live well in the moment, and jointly create a better life and a beautiful future.
Except for the mother-infant relationship, all other relationships are cultivated from our relationship with ourselves. This is because the time of physical alone is psychologically the time for multiple egos to get along with each other. Only by coordinating the primary and secondary relationships between each ego or establishing equal relationships can we have a peaceful state of mind and true ability to be alone. The most thorough approach is to find our true selves and interact with others under the guidance of this true self. In this way, we can establish relationships with deep connections.
On June 23, 2023
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