在我們的生活中，與別人建立關係是一件非常重要的事情。然而，現實中的關係往往與我們的想像有很大的差異。我們經常戴上面具，隱藏自己的真實想法和情感，這樣也許會獲得一些安全感，但同時也會阻礙我們建立真正有意義的關係。
當我們戴著面具，就不能表現出真正的自己。從選擇夥伴開始，我們就不是以自己的真正需要去選擇。即使是自己主動選擇的關係，但如果我們的意識不在場，內心充滿矛盾、焦慮和恐懼，那真正進入關係的只會是一個社會角色的扮演者，而不是我們真正的自己。
我們也會擔心自己的真實內心被別人發現，因此會假裝自己是別人想要的樣子，或者隱藏自己的需要。這樣做只會讓我們感到更加孤獨和緊張。不展示自己的真實面貌，我們也無法建立良好而穩定的關係。
實際上，我們很需要與別人連結，但我們的面具不是只有一個，而是有很多個，例如不同的個性、認知、喜好、身份、信仰。如果我們的內心世界不僅有一個人，更有一群人，帶著各種習慣和偏見，扮演著多個不同的角色，別人就很難知道如何與我們互動。
這群人就是我們的自我。這些自我交替出現，就像我們在不同時候戴著不同面具那樣，因此我們無法建立真實的關係。也是這些原因，使我們在關係中總是難以深入地溝通，稍受挫折就退縮，意見不同就發生衝突。這種表面的關係也無法令人滿意，於是我們陷入兩難境地，產生很多焦慮。
表面的關係不可能是愛的關係，即使它可以排解無聊和外在的寂寞，也肯定無法排解內心的孤獨。戴著面具在關係中演戲，那些笑不是我們真的笑，而是面具在笑。就算我們意識到要脫下面具，也會擔心別人不適應。這些虛假和擔心，就是彼此之間的一道高牆，阻止我們變得親密。
要建立深層次的連結，我們必須去除自我、脫下面具。只有這樣，才能吸引那些真正欣賞和接受我們的人，在真誠和信賴的基礎上建立關係，讓我們感到安全和有力量。互相關心和了解，給予對方所需，這些愛的元素，都必須在一個真實的關係中才能發揮作用。因此，我們必須以真我意識去連結，才能獲得滿意的結果。
要脫下面具，我們需要走進自己的內心，越有意識向內走，也越能融入到關係之中。因為我們會發現自己內心的負擔，以及關係停滯的原因，並了解建立美滿關係的關鍵因素，進而清除障礙。還有一點至關重要：脫下面具，我們就能了解自己的真正需要，避免建立無益的關係。
53. 有意識地走進內心世界 (上一篇)
55. 不斷接受新事物 (下一篇)
The path to Tranquility (54)
Removing the mask leads to beautiful relationships
Establishing relationships with others is a very important thing in our lives. However, relationships in reality often differ greatly from what we imagine. We frequently wear masks to conceal our true thoughts and emotions, which may provide some sense of security but also hinder us from forming truly meaningful relationships.
When we wear masks, we cannot show our true selves. From the moment we choose a partner, we do not choose based on our true needs. Even if it is a relationship that we actively choose, if our consciousness is not present and our hearts are full of contradictions, anxiety and fear, then the person who actually enters the relationship will only be a social role player, not our true self.
We also worry about being discovered by others for our true inner self, so we pretend to be what others want us to be, or hide our needs. This only makes us feel more lonely and nervous. Without showing our true selves, we cannot establish good and stable relationships.
In fact, We need very much to connect with others, but we don't just have one mask, we have many, such as different personalities, perceptions, preferences, identities, and beliefs. If there is not only one person in our inner world, but a group of people, with various habits and prejudices, playing multiple different roles, it will make it difficult for others to know how to interact with us.
This group of people are our egos. These egos alternate, just like we wear different masks at different times, so we cannot establish genuine relationships. It is also for these reasons that we always find it difficult to communicate deeply in relationships, retreat at the slightest setback, and conflict with different opinions. Such superficial relationships cannot satisfy us, so we are caught in a dilemma and experience a lot of anxiety.
Superficial relationships cannot be loved relationships, even if it can relieve boredom and external loneliness, it will certainly not be able to relieve inner loneliness. Wearing masks and acting in relationships, those smiles are not our real smiles, but the masks are smiling. Even if we realize that we need to remove the mask, we may worry that others will not adapt. These falsehoods and worries are a high wall between us, preventing us from intimacy.
To establish deep connections, we must remove egos and take off the mask. Only then can we attract those who truly appreciate and accept us, establish relationships based on sincerity and reliance, and make us feel safe and empowered. Caring for and understanding each other, giving each other what is needed, these elements of love can only be effective in a genuine relationship. Therefore, we must connect to others with true awareness, to obtain satisfactory results.
To remove the mask, we need to step into our inner selves. The more conscious we are of going inward, the more we can integrate into relationships. Because we will discover the burden in our hearts, the reasons for the stagnation of relationships, and understand the key factors for establishing happy relationships, and then remove obstacles. One more point is crucial: by removing the mask, we can understand our true needs and avoid establishing unhelpful relationships.
On June 26, 2023
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