我們理想的生活態度，是應該提起時提起，應該放下時放下。以這樣的心態生活，我們既能承擔生命的各種責任，也不易被生活壓垮。應該提起時提起，代表我們具備體驗生活的勇氣。應該放下時放下，則代表我們輕鬆地邁向未來的智慧。
過去的經驗，是塑造我們現在和未來的重要元素。那些曾經讓情緒波動的經歷，會深深印在我們的大腦中，甚至影響一生。然而，並非所有經驗都是正面的。由恐懼而來的經驗，例如不良習慣或反應模式，會成為我們的心理包袱。這種負面的經驗持續影響我們當下的情緒，進而影響未來的行動。因此，整理經歷就顯得極為重要。只有將自己的經歷視為別人的故事，我們才有可能卸下心理包袱。
一個小故事：一位年輕人背著沉重的包袱，翻山越嶺尋找大師。"師父，我受了很大的挫折和痛苦，活不下去了，請您開導我吧！" 大師問包袱裡有甚麼，年輕人說那是關於所有委屈和悲傷的紀錄。大師二話不說，示意他扛起河邊一隻小木船。年輕人表示太重了，扛不動。大師笑說："這船能渡我們到對岸，但如果你把它扛在肩上，那肯定受不了。" 年輕人有點意會了。大師繼續說："過去的委屈和悲傷已經豐富了你的生命，但執著於這些沉重的過去，遲早會將你壓垮。" 年輕人終於領悟：放下心中的包袱，我們就會感到前所未有的輕鬆和自在。
以上故事簡單明瞭，所蘊含的道理也顯而易見，就是我們應該像故事中的年輕人那樣，及時卸下心理包袱。然而，要卸下心理包袱並不容易，因為它已經變成我們內心的一部份。我們必須以理智引導自己的情感，讓心理包袱逐漸從內心剝離和轉化，最終將其卸下。
經驗之所以變成包袱，是因為我們拒絕接受它，排斥它，讓它變得沉重。要卸下心理包袱，我們必須設法接受自己的過去。另外，我們必須先接受當下，然後才能接受過去。因此，過著舒適而滿意的生活，是卸下心理包袱的先決條件。我們必須先做好這一步，才能開始回憶並整理經歷。
舉例來說，若我們經歷過一次身體受傷，一直無法接受自己當時的疏忽。為了卸下這份心理包袱，我們可以將過去看成家裡的一塊木地板，將經歷看成一段接一段的木條。我們首先找出一段木條代表當下。實際上，當下已經成為過去。我們接受這段當下，也就是接受自己的第一段過去。接著我們看下一段以及其他木條。當發現痛苦的經驗，我們可以暫停，思考一個問題：沒有這一段過去，也不會有前一段過去，因此不會有這一段當下。為甚麼我們接受這段當下而不接受那些過去？
當我們無法找到拒絕過去的理由，即表示在理智上已經接受了，剩下的只是情感問題。在上面的例子中，也許我們擔心類似過去的情況會再次發生，所以希望記住當時的感受來警醒自己。這是一種需要克服的恐懼。或者我們心中懷有怨恨，想報復當時相關的人，即使那個人是自己。如果是這樣，我們就應該考慮報復的後果，是否會導致失去現在的舒適生活。這種方法有助於將怨恨轉化成恐懼，並簡化我們的感受。當我們意識到怨恨會讓自己失去當下的美好，就更容易放下怨恨。
對於其他例子，例如長期無法擺脫項目失敗陰影的項目經理，也可以採用上述方法來卸下心理負擔。檢視自己的經歷，就是運用理智來輔助情感，並轉化感受的過程。例如，思考過去事情的發生原因，告訴自己當時已經盡力，否則就無法過著現在滿意的生活。這樣，我們就可以將恐懼和怨恨轉化為接受和理解。當我們的情感變得足夠柔和，痛苦的感受便會轉化成感悟，我們明白當下的智慧能夠保護生命、滿足生命的需要。當我們信賴智慧，索取心也會轉變為給予心，進而將恐懼轉化為給予的勇氣。總的來說，心理包袱的內容大多是恐懼。因此，一旦放下恐懼，就表示我們卸下了心理包袱。
卸下心理包袱，代表我們接受自己的所有經歷，心態變得更積極。當意識到過去的自己實際上已不是現在的自己，我們的情緒便不會再被過去的經驗所牽動。從此，我們的情感脫離過去，專注於當下的感受。當不再關注過去的經驗，我們便能將生命時間給予周遭的人和事，建立良好的人際關係，並積極規劃未來的生活。
92. 情感與理智相結合 (上一篇)
94. 充份享受人生的旅程 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (93)
Unload psychological burdens in time
Our ideal attitude towards life is to lift things up when they should be lifted up and put them down when they should be put down. Living with such an attitude, we can not only assume the various responsibilities of life, but also be less likely to be overwhelmed by life. To lift things up when they should be lifted up, represents our courage to experience life. To put things down when they should be put down, represents our wisdom to stride into the future with ease.
Past experiences are important elements that shape our present and future. Those experiences that once caused emotional fluctuations will be deeply imprinted in our brains and may even affect our entire life. However, not all experiences are positive. Experience derived from fear, such as bad habits or reaction patterns, can become our psychological burdens. This negative experience continue to affect our current emotions and future actions. Therefore, sorting out experiences is extremely important. Only by viewing our own experiences as someone else's stories can we possibly unload psychological burdens.
A small story: A young man carrying a heavy burden crossed mountains and rivers to find a master. "Master, I have suffered great setbacks and pains, and I can't live anymore. Please guide me!" The master asked what was in the burden, and the young man said it was a record of all grievances and sadness. Without saying a word, the master signaled him to lift a small wooden boat by the river. The young man said it was too heavy to lift. The master smiled and said, "This boat can ferry us to the other side, but if you carry it on your shoulder, it will definitely be unbearable." The young man had some understanding. The master continued, "The past grievances and sadness have enriched your life, but clinging to these heavy pasts will sooner or later crush you." The young man finally realized: let go of the burden in our heart, and we will feel unprecedented relaxed and ease.
The above story is simple and clear, and the truth it contains is also obvious, that is, we should unload psychological burdens in time like the young man in the story. However, unloading psychological burden is not easy because it has become part of our heart. We must guide our emotion with reason, let the psychological burden gradually peel off and transform from our hearts, and finally unload it.
The reason why experience becomes burden is because we refuse to accept it, reject it, and make it heavy. To unload psychological burden, we must find ways to accept our past. In addition, we must first accept the present before we can accept the past. Therefore, living a comfortable and satisfactory life is a prerequisite for unloading psychological burdens. We must take this do this well before we can start recalling and sorting out experiences.
For example, if we have experienced a physical injury and cannot accept our negligence at the time. In order to unload this psychological burden, we can view the past as a wooden floor in our home, and view experiences as one piece of wood after another. We first find a piece of wood that represents the present. In fact, the present has become the past. We accept this present, that is, we accept our first piece of past. Then we look at the next piece and other pieces of wood. When we find a painful experience, we can pause and think about a question: without this piece of past, there would be no previous piece of past, so there would be no this piece of present. Why do we accept this piece of present but not those pasts?
When we cannot find a reason to reject the past, it means that we have accepted it intellectually, and all that remains is an emotional issue. In the above example, perhaps we are worried that a situation similar to the past will happen again, so we hope to remember how we felt at that time to alert ourselves. This is a fear that needs to be overcome. Or we harbor resentment and want to take revenge on the person involved at the time, even if that person is ourselves. If so, we should consider whether the consequences of revenge will lead to the loss of our current comfortable life. This approach helps turn resentment into fear and simplify our feelings. When we realize that resentment will make us lose the beauty of the present, it is easier to let go of resentment.
For other examples, such as a project manager who cannot get rid of the shadow of project failure for a long time, the above method can also be used to unload the psychological burden. Examining one's own experiences is the process of using reason to assist emotion and transform the feelings. For example, thinking about the cause of past events, telling ourselves that we have done our best at that time, otherwise we cannot live a satisfactory life now. In this way, we can transform fear and resentment into acceptance and understanding. When our emotion becomes soft enough, painful feelings will be transformed into insights, and we understand that the wisdom of the present can protect life and meet the needs of life. When we trust wisdom, the heart of getting will transform into the heart of giving, and then transform fear into the courage of giving. In general, the content of psychological burden is mostly fear. Therefore, once we let go of fear, it means that we have unloaded our psychological burden.
Unloading psychological burdens means that we accept all our experiences and our mentality becomes more positive. When we realize that the past self is actually not the current self, our emotions will no longer be affected by past experience. From then on, our emotion is detached from the past and focus on the present feelings. When we no longer pay attention to past experiences, we can give life time to the people and things around us, establish good interpersonal relationships, and actively plan for future life.
On August 9, 2023
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