我們常常受到各方面的壓力和期望，感到必須扮演某種角色，符合某些標準或遵守某些規則。過度地適應這些外部壓力和期望，會讓我們拒絕認識和接受真實的自己。
例如在談話期間，有時我們想立即結束話題，不再談論下去，但又覺得這樣做很沒禮貌。這時自我的評斷開始出現，讓我們產生擔憂和顧忌，害怕自己的形象受損。於是我們假裝對話題繼續有興趣，說了很多違心的話，最後帶著內疚離開。這種行為對友情同樣有負面的影響，因為別人會發現我們的虛偽。友情賬本上我們便添了一項負債，若資不抵債，那麼友情便會破裂。
我們可能會感到困惑，為何友情總是來來去去。我們還會認為自己非常友好，直到明白待人誠實的重要，才醒覺自己的問題。如果不想說話，我們可以誠實表達自己的感受。沉默也是一種選擇，但我們不應該假裝有興趣。假裝就是對別人說謊，而謊言總會被揭穿，這最終會耗盡我們的誠意和信任。
如果我們有這種意識，就不會為難自己和別人。如果不想說話，我們可以誠實地告訴別人，並尋求理解，然後再保持沉默。 這會讓談話變得更輕鬆。
接受真實的自己，是一個需要勇氣和覺察的過程。我們需要認識自己的優點和缺點、價值觀和信念，以及興趣和愛好。同時，我們也需要學會聆聽自己內心的聲音，放下外界對自己的評價，不為迎合別人而改變自己。當遇到負面情緒時，我們也需要接受和寬容自己，以減輕壓力。
如果能夠對別人誠實，我們就能對自己誠實。如果能寬容別人，我們也能寬容自己。當做到了這兩點，才表示我們真正接受自己。這不僅體現我們對自己的愛和尊重，也體現對別人的尊重和貢獻。如果我們展現一個真實的自己，讓別人更容易理解和支持，這也是對別人的愛。
7. 我們有笑的理由 (上一篇)
9. 無須害怕失去 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (8)
Accepting our true Self
We often face pressure and expectations from all sides, and feel like we need to play a certain role, meet certain standards, or follow certain rules. Over-adapting to these external pressures and expectations can lead us to refuse to recognize and accept who we really are.
For example, during a conversation, sometimes we want to end the topic immediately and not talk about it anymore, but we feel it would be rude to do so. At this time, self-judgment begins to appear, causing us to have worries and scruples, afraid that our image will be damaged. As a result, we pretended to be interested in the topic and said a lot of things we didn't mean, and finally left with guilt. This kind of behavior also has a negative impact on friendships because others can detect our hypocrisy, and this adds a liability to our friendship ledger, if we cannot pay off our debt, the friendship might break.
We might be confused, as to why friendships always come and go. We also think we are very friendly, and we don’t realize our problems until we understand the importance of being honest with others. If we don’t want to talk, we can be honest about how we feel. Silence is also a choice, but we should not pretend to be interested. Pretending is lying to others, and lies will always be exposed, which eventually exhaust our sincerity and trust.
If we have this consciousness, we will not embarrass ourselves and others. If we do not want to talk, we can tell others honestly and ask for understanding before going silent. This will make the conversation more relaxed.
Accepting our true selves is a process that requires courage and awareness. We need to understand our own strengths and weaknesses, values and beliefs, as well as interests and hobbies. At the same time, we also need to learn to listen to our inner voice, let go of the outside world's evaluation of ourselves, and not change ourselves to cater to others. When we encounter negative emotions, we also need to accept and be tolerant of ourselves to alleviate the stress.
If we can be honest with others, we can be honest with ourselves. If we can be tolerant of others, we can be tolerant of ourselves. When we achieve these two points, we truly accept ourselves. If we can be honest with others, we can be honest with ourselves. If we can forgive others, we can also forgive ourselves. When these two points are achieved, it means that we truly accept ourselves. This not only reflects our love and respect for ourselves, but also our respect and contribution to others. If we show our true self and make it easier for others to understand and support us, this is also love towards others.
On May 08, 2023
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