剛來到這個世界時，我們只是遵循身體的本能：我們舒服會笑，不舒服時會哭。那時，我們的腦袋一片空白，沒有複雜的區分和鬥爭。隨著年齡的增長，我們開始面對別人，學習依靠他們的認可來生活。為了順應社會、獲得認可，我們逐漸習慣取悅別人，並將外界的評價當作自己行為的依據。這一切看似是為了生存而必須的妥協，卻也在不知不覺中阻礙了我們對真實自我的追尋。
如果我們總是隨波逐流，讓習慣束縛自己的選擇，我們不僅忽略內心真正的渴望，甚至迷失自我。例如，在談話中，我們可能急於結束談話，但又害怕被視為不禮貌和冷漠。於是，我們努力維持談話，說出很多看似讓對方開心的話，但結局往往伴隨著內疚和困惑。禮貌確實是外在強加給我們的一種無形的壓力，但當我們意識到時間的寶貴，敢於誠實地表達內心的感受，就能體現出對自己和別人的尊重。與其虛偽地回應，不如選擇沉默，因為只有真誠的對話才能為彼此建立有意義的連結。
可見，認識自己首先需要從接受真實的自我開始──了解自己的優勢與劣勢、興趣與喜好，甚至深層的價值觀與信念。價值觀是我們一切行為和決定的基石；例如，當我們深刻理解自己對誠信的堅持時，就更有可能在面對誘惑時選擇誠實，而不是為了短期利益而隱瞞真相。正是這種自我認知，使得我們在面臨選擇的時候，能夠更好地滿足內心的需求，從而減少內心的撕裂和衝突。
同時，認識自己意味著了解和整理自己的情緒和習慣。情緒是我們內在狀態的反映，而習慣是固化的行為模式。當焦慮來襲時，試著停下來，探究背後的原因：是生活壓力，還是人際關係的限制？然後，透過深呼吸、短距離散步或其他自我調整的方法，我們可以平靜情緒。這種對情緒和習慣的認知，不僅可以幫助我們更有效地管理自己，還可以大大減輕心理負擔，讓生活更真實，始終在我們的掌控之中。
當面對"我是誰？"這個根本問題時，我們需要拆解構成自我的各個層面，讓最真實的一面浮現出來。我們可以將身體比喻為太陽能電池，將情緒比喻為電流，將習慣比喻為通電發光的燈泡。當我們觀察燈泡的亮度和開關時，我們不僅了解電流的強度和存在，還可以預測日出和日落。可見，我們對自己的身體、情緒、習慣，以及它們與外界關係的深刻理解和預測，才是真正的自我。
也可以將我們的身體比喻為池塘，將我們的情緒比喻為水，這樣我們就是在池塘裡游泳的意識。讓池塘與山間溪流相連，我們就會有新鮮的水，但千萬不要將池塘與污水溝相連。在池塘清澈的水里，有各種各樣的生物，甚至還有魚蝦。我們需要學會游泳，這樣才能在水中保護自己，不會被溺水；然後潛入水中，探索清澈池塘的美麗。不過，我們不能在水裡待太久，必須時不時浮出水面呼吸。
要真正認識自己，我們需要勇敢地敞開心扉。就像面對鏡子，我們首先要卸下堆積的包裝──它們可能來自家庭、社會，或是傳統的價值體系。當我們剝去層層偽裝時，我們最靈活、最真實的部分就會顯露出來。這個真誠的自我並不脆弱，而是我們與世界深層互動的主體。唯有透過外在的回應和別人的理解，我們才能真正完成對自我的認識，形成一面屬於我們自己的明亮、穩定的心靈鏡子。
透過心靈的鏡子去回憶、反思，是提升自我覺知的捷徑。每次失敗或挫折之後，當我們仔細檢視決策過程，反思行為背後的動機時，就能發現自己的不足和成長空間。這種來自現實的反思促使我們逐漸接近真實的自我。我們能夠完全擁有自己，這是我們自己與外界的根本差異；即使我們拒絕外界的一切，我們也不會拒絕真正的自我。這種對自我的完全接受，讓我們在面對未來生活中的挑戰時，更加堅定、更加冷靜。
當我們清楚地了解自己的願望和方向時，我們會更願意向別人展現真實的自我。例如，熱愛寫作並深知文字魅力的人更有可能大膽地分享自己的作品，而不是因為害怕批評而隱藏自己的才華。自我認知不僅與自己的生命息息相關，更是愛自己、愛別人的基礎。擁有清晰的自我認知，讓我們能夠真誠地付出和接受，並懂得尊重自己和別人。
認識真實的自我不是一朝一夕就能實現的，而是不斷成長的過程。生命中的每一次相遇，都是我們探索自我、重建內心的機會。當壓力讓我們感到疲憊不堪時，不妨靜下心來問自己：「這真的是我想要的生活嗎？」這個問題可以促使我們審視自己的目標和選擇，讓內心的自由和滿足感一天天得到提升。真正的自我不僅在於當下的存在，更在於我們如何認識和預見自身的變化，以及如何在與世界的互動中，找到自己的獨特位置。
7. 笑聲充滿愛、希望和信賴 (上一篇)
9. 無須害怕失去 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (8)
Know our true self
When we first came into this world, we just followed our body's instincts: we laughed when we were comfortable and cried when we were uncomfortable. At that time, our minds were blank, without complicated distinctions and struggles. As we grow older, we begin to face others and learn to live by their approval. In order to conform to society and gain recognition, we gradually get used to pleasing others and use the outside world's evaluation as the basis for our behavior. All of this seems to be a compromise necessary for survival, but it also unknowingly hinders our pursuit of our true self.
If we always go with the flow and let habits constrain our choices, we will not only ignore our true inner desires, but even lose ourselves. For example, in a conversation, we may be eager to end the conversation, but we are afraid of being seen as impolite and indifferent. So, we try to maintain the conversation and say a lot of words that seem to make the other person happy, but the ending is often accompanied by guilt and confusion. Politeness is indeed an invisible pressure imposed on us from the outside, but when we realize the preciousness of time and dare to express our inner feelings honestly, we can show respect for ourselves and others. Instead of responding hypocritically, it is better to choose silence, because only sincere dialogue can establish a meaningful connection for each other.
It can be seen that knowing oneself first needs to start with accepting the real self - understanding one's strengths and weaknesses, interests and preferences, and even deep values and beliefs. Values are the cornerstone of all our actions and decisions; for example, when we deeply understand our insistence on integrity, we are more likely to choose honesty when faced with temptation, rather than hiding the truth for short-term benefits. It is this self-awareness that enables us to better meet our inner needs when faced with choices, thereby reducing inner tearing and conflict.
At the same time, knowing yourself means understanding and sorting out your emotions and habits. Emotions are a reflection of our inner state, while habits are solidified behavioral patterns. When anxiety strikes, try to stop and explore the reasons behind it: Is it the pressure of life, or the limitations of interpersonal relationships? Then, through deep breathing, short walks, or other self-adjustment methods, we can calm our emotions. This recognition of emotions and habits can not only help us manage ourselves more effectively, but also greatly reduce the psychological burden, making life more real and always under our control.
When facing the fundamental question of "Who am I?", we need to dismantle the various layers that make up the self and let the most real side emerge. We can compare the body to a solar cell, emotions to electric current, and habits to a light bulb that glows when it is powered on. When we observe the brightness and switching of the light bulb, we not only understand the strength and existence of the current, but can also predict sunrise and sunset. It can be seen that our deep understanding and prediction of our own body, emotions, habits, and their relationship with the outside world is the true self.
We can also compare our body to a pond and our emotions to water, so that we are the consciousness swimming in the pond. If we connect the pond to a mountain stream, we will have fresh water, but we must not connect the pond to a sewage ditch. In the clear water of the pond, there are all kinds of creatures, even fish and shrimp. We need to learn to swim so that we can protect ourselves in the water and not drown; then dive into the water and explore the beauty of the clear pond. However, we cannot stay in the water for too long and must surface from time to time to breathe.
To truly know ourselves, we need to open our hearts bravely. Just like facing a mirror, we must first remove the accumulated packaging - they may come from family, society, or traditional value systems. When we peel off layers of disguise, our most flexible and true part will be revealed. This sincere self is not fragile, but the subject of our deep interaction with the world. Only through external responses and understanding from others can we truly complete our self-recognition and form a bright and stable spiritual mirror that belongs to us.
Recalling and reflecting through the mirror of the mind is a shortcut to improving self-awareness. After each failure or setback, when we carefully examine the decision-making process and reflect on the motivations behind the behavior, we can discover our shortcomings and room for growth. This reflection from reality prompts us to gradually approach our true self. We can fully own ourselves, which is the fundamental difference between ourselves and the outside world; even if we reject everything in the outside world, we will not reject our true self. This complete acceptance of the self makes us more determined and calmer when facing the challenges in future life.
When we clearly understand our desires and direction, we are more willing to show our true selves to others. For example, people who love writing and know the power of words are more likely to boldly share their works, rather than hiding their talents for fear of criticism. Self-awareness is not only closely related to one's own life, but also the foundation of loving oneself and others. Having a clear self-awareness allows us to give and receive sincerely, and to know how to respect ourselves and others.
Knowing your true self is not something that can be achieved overnight, but a process of continuous growth. Every encounter in life is an opportunity for us to explore ourselves and rebuild our inner selves. When pressure makes us feel exhausted, we might as well calm down and ask ourselves: "Is this really the life I want?" This question can prompt us to examine our goals and choices, so that our inner freedom and satisfaction can be improved day by day. The true self lies not only in the present existence, but also in how we recognize and foresee our own changes, and how to find our unique position in the interaction with the world.
On May 08, 2023
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