我們從小就被教導要追求卓越，要成為最好的，在學業、事業或生活中出類拔萃。然而，這種心態往往無法幫助我們達到真正的卓越。相反，它會損害我們的心理健康，削弱體驗快樂和滿足的能力。當我們將自我價值與卓越聯繫在一起，壓力、焦慮和自我懷疑往往隨之而來。一旦我們未能滿足內在或外在的期望，我們很容易陷入憂鬱，甚至質疑自己存在的意義。
想像一位學生，為了追求學業卓越，犧牲了睡眠、愛好，甚至作弊。雖然這可能在短期內讓他獲得高分，但也會剝奪他學習的樂趣，並錯過發展其他能力的機會。久而久之，他可能會對學習感到厭倦，甚至懷疑自己的價值，最終無法取得真正的成功。顯然，當卓越成為一種壓力之源，它就失去了原有的意義。
真正的卓越不是一個目標，而是一個自然的結果。當我們專注於內在的成長和探索，卓越就會自然而然地出現，就像一棵樹在陽光和養分的幫助下結出果實一樣。這種內在的成熟是意識力量的來源──只有了解自己的需求，並知道如何滿足自己，我們才能在挑戰面前表現出韌性和創造力。
要擺脫對卓越的執著，我們首先需要學會接受自己，並堅信自己現在已經足夠好。這不是自我放縱，而是一種深刻的體悟：我生在這個世界上，擁有獨一無二的生命，這本身就是存在意義的體現。無論現在的生活是否符合符合自己的期望，或是他人的期望，接受自己是建立健康自我認知的起點，是真正成長的基石。
自我接受，也能幫助我們區分內在價值和工具價值。工具價值往往來自績效、地位、收入等外部評價，傾向依賴別人的認可，而忽略自身的需要。而內在價值則是基於個人信念、熱情和自我認同，可以建構穩定的自我，提升幸福感和創造力。例如，如果藝術家單純為了市場而創作，可能會失去創作的初衷，甚至感到空虛。然而，當藝術家優先考慮其創作的內在價值，創作就成為自我實現的過程。
阿爾伯特愛因斯坦年輕時並不被認為是天才，甚至被認為是學習遲緩的人。但他並不執著於追求卓越，而是在對知識的熱愛驅使下，堅持不懈地追求，最終成為科學史上的巨人。同樣，一個作家最初寫作不是為了名利，而是為了表達和分享。每一次創作，他都會反思、改進，逐漸提升自己的技巧和見解。隨著時間的推移，他的作品自然而然地獲得了讚譽，並達到了卓越的水平。這些例子提醒我們，真正的卓越是持續成長的副產品，而不是自我強加的目標。
當我們放下對完美的執念，思想就會得到解放，從而能夠更敏銳地感知世界。例如，如果攝影師不再執著於技術的完美，而是專注於捕捉瞬間的情感和光線，他們可能會創造出更有深度、更有靈魂的作品。這種冷靜和洞察力正是卓越的基礎。
我們可以採取具體措施，來幫助培養自我接納和內在成長。例如，我們可以記錄自己學到的新技能或克服的障礙，並認可自己的努力；將宏偉的夢想分解成小步驟，專注於過程而不是結果；學會處理情緒，避免過度自責，反思甚麼讓自己感到滿足；每天留出時間與自己對話，練習用溫柔的眼光看待自己的不完美。
過度追求卓越，可能會成為我們成長的枷鎖；接受現狀、專注於成長才是走向真正卓越的自然之路。真正的卓越始於自我接納。當我們放下對結果的執著，將成長與喜悅放在生活中的首位，卓越就會像花朵一樣悄然綻放——這不是別人評判的結果，而是我們自由和幸福的體現。
43. 愛情是一首思考存在的哲學詩 (上一篇)
45. 為心靈建造真正的家園 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (44)
True excellence begins with self-acceptance
We are taught from a young age to strive for excellence, to be the best, to excel in our studies, careers, or lives. However, this mindset often fails to help us achieve true excellence. Instead, it harms our mental health and weakens our ability to experience joy and fulfillment. When we associate our self-worth with excellence, stress, anxiety, and self-doubt often follow. When we fail to meet internal or external expectations, we can easily fall into depression and even question the meaning of our existence.
Imagine a student who, in pursuit of academic excellence, sacrifices sleep, hobbies, and even resorts to cheating. While this may get him high grades in the short term, it will also deprive him of the joy of learning and miss the opportunity to develop other abilities. Over time, he may become bored with learning, even doubt his own worth, and ultimately fail to achieve real success. Clearly, when excellence becomes a source of pressure, it loses its original meaning.
True excellence is not a goal but a natural outcome. When we focus on inner growth and exploration, excellence emerges naturally, just as a tree bears fruit with the help of sunlight and nutrients. This inner maturity is the source of conscious strength—only by understanding our needs and knowing how to meet them can we demonstrate resilience and creativity in the face of challenges.
To break free from the obsession with excellence, we must first learn to accept ourselves and firmly believe that we are good enough right now. This isn't self-indulgence, but rather a profound realization: I'm born into this world, with a unique life, and this in itself is the embodiment of the meaning of existence. Regardless of whether my current life meets my own expectations or those of others, accepting myself is the starting point for building a healthy self-awareness and the cornerstone of true growth.
Self-acceptance can also help us distinguish between intrinsic value and instrumental value. Instrumental value often derives from external evaluations such as performance, status, and income, tending to rely on the approval of others while neglecting one's own needs. Intrinsic value, on the other hand, is based on personal beliefs, passion, and self-identity, which can build a stable self and enhance happiness and creativity. For example, if an artist creates solely for market reasons, they may lose their original purpose and even feel empty. However, when artists prioritize the intrinsic value of their work, creation becomes a process of self-realization.
In his youth, Albert Einstein was not considered a genius, and was even considered a slow learner. Yet, despite his obsessive pursuit of excellence, he persevered, driven by his love of knowledge, and ultimately became a giant in the history of science. Similarly, a writer initially writes not for fame or fortune, but to express and share. With each creation, he reflects and refines, gradually improving his skills and insights. Over time, his work naturally garnered acclaim and reached a level of excellence. These examples remind us that true excellence is a byproduct of continuous growth, not a self-imposed goal.
When we let go of our obsession with perfection, our minds are freed, allowing us to perceive the world more acutely. For example, if a photographer stopped obsessing over technical perfection and focused instead on capturing the emotion and light of the moment, they might create work with greater depth and soul. This calmness and insight are the foundation of excellence.
We can take concrete steps to help cultivate self-acceptance and inner growth. For example, we can keep track of new skills we've learned or obstacles we've overcome, recognizing our efforts. We can break down our grand dreams into small steps, focusing on the process rather than the outcome. We can learn to process our emotions, avoid excessive self-blame, and reflect on what brings us fulfillment. We can also set aside time each day to talk to ourselves and practice looking at our imperfections with a gentle eye.
Excessive pursuit of excellence can become a shackle on our growth; accepting the status quo and focusing on growth is the natural path to true excellence. True excellence begins with self-acceptance. When we let go of our obsession with results and prioritize growth and joy in our lives, excellence will quietly blossom like a flower—not as a result of others' judgment, but as a manifestation of our own freedom and happiness.
On June 14, 2023
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