寧靜的心跡(44) 擺脫對優秀的渴望

我們從小被教育要追求優秀，要成為最好的自己，並在學業、事業和生活中取得成功。然而，對優秀的渴望不僅會阻礙我們變得優秀，更會對我們的心理健康造成負面的影響，甚至使我們無法感受幸福。

當我們將自己的價值與優秀相聯繫，就會感到壓力和焦慮。如果感到自己永遠無法達到期望，就會導致自我懷疑和沮喪。我們會對別人的評價非常敏感，並過於在意別人的看法，影響與別人的關係。我們還會變得過於關注結果，錯失從過程中學習的機會。最嚴重的問題是造成身心分裂，引發心理疾病。

擺脫對優秀的渴望，關鍵是接受自己，並相信一切都是最好的安排。我們需要這樣的信念：我就是我，大自然要我成為這個樣子，不然世上無須有我。如果不滿意當下的生活，我們必須有這個信念。如果滿意，那麼我們更應該有這個信念。

接受自己，能讓我們分開自己的工具價值與內在價值。我們可以對社會或者別人有用，這是工具價值，但我們只需要對自己有用，這是內在價值，是價值感的真正來源。當我們明白自己的真正價值，就可以將注意力集中在自我成長方面，而不會把自己的價值與別人的評價相連結。如果我們為迎合別人而損害自己的生命，那麼不僅對自己毫無價值，而工具價值也會大打折扣。

因此，我們無需努力去改頭換面，而只需接受當下的自己。深深地接受，我們的內心就沒有衝突，負面情緒也就無從產生。當我們經常感到喜悅，就會越來越喜歡自己，更不會迫使自己變得優秀。

擺脫了對優秀的渴望，內心就去掉一個矇蔽意識的自我。對外界有更敏感和細緻的觀察，我們的意識和理智也會運作得更加順暢。那麼，在應對外界變化的時候，我們就會顯得從容和優雅，別人自然會給予我們好的評價。

優秀的基礎，是觀察世界的能力和創造力。當我們清楚了解自己的真正需要，並為自己創造幸福的生活，就是實現真正的優秀。這是一個自然發展的過程，不僅無法強求，更會受各種性格的阻礙。因此，接受一切、培養意識、擺脫習慣和欲望，並讓自己自由自在，才是變得優秀的最佳途徑。

43. 愛情中的詩意 (上一篇)

45. 建設真正的家 (下一篇)

目錄

The path to Tranquility (44)
Get rid of the desire for excellence

We are taught from a young age to pursue excellence, to become the best version of ourselves, and to achieve success in academics, career, and life. However, the desire for excellence not only hinders our ability to become excellent, but also has negative effects on our mental health, and can even prevent us from feeling happiness.

When we associate our self-worth with excellence, we feel pressure and anxiety. If we feel like we can never meet expectations, it leads to self-doubt and frustration. We will be very sensitive to other people's evaluations and care too much about other people's opinions, which affects our relationships with others. We also become too focused on outcomes, and miss opportunities to learn from the process. The most serious problem is causing physical and mental division and causing mental illness.

The key to getting rid of the desire for excellence is to accept ourselves, and believe that everything is for the best. We need this belief: I am who I am, nature wants me to be like this, otherwise there is no need for me in the world. If we are dissatisfied with our current life, we must have this belief. If we are satisfied, then we should have this belief even more.

Accepting ourselves, allows us to separate our tool value from our intrinsic value. We can be useful to society or others, which is our tool value, but we only need to be useful to ourselves, which is our intrinsic value and the true source of our sense of worth. When we understand our true worth, we can focus on self-growth rather than tying our worth to the opinions of others. If we harm our own lives in order to cater to others, not only will we be of no value to ourselves, but our tool value will also be greatly diminished.

Therefore, we don't need to try to change the outer of ourselves, but just need to accept ourselves as we are. When we deeply accept ourselves, there is no conflict in our hearts, and negative emotions cannot arise. When we feel joy often, we will like ourselves more and not force ourselves to become excellent.

Getting rid of the desire for excellence removes the ego that is clouded by consciousness. With a more sensitive and detailed observation of the outside world, our consciousness and reason will function more smoothly. Then, when dealing with changes in the outside world, we will appear calm and elegant, and others will naturally give us good evaluations.

The foundation of excellence is the ability to observe the world and creativity. When we understand our true needs and create a happy life for ourselves, we achieve true excellence. This is a natural development process, which not only cannot be forced, but will also be hindered by various personalities. Therefore, accepting everything, cultivating consciousness, letting go of habits and desires, and allowing ourselves to be free and ease, is the best way to become excellent.

On June 14, 2023