我們從小被教導要追求卓越，成為最好的自己，並在學業、事業和生活中取得成功。然而，追求卓越的欲望不僅阻礙我們真正變得卓越，還會對我們的心理健康產生負面影響，甚至削弱我們獲得幸福的能力。因此，卓越不應該成為追求的目標。只要不斷成長，我們自然就會變得卓越。
當我們將自己的價值與卓越聯繫起來，壓力和焦慮就會隨之而來。一旦感到自己永遠無法達到期望，我們就會陷入自我懷疑和沮喪。當我們更重視別人對我們的期望而不是自己的需要，與別人的互動就會變得緊張。對卓越的渴望，還會讓我們過於注重結果，而忽視從過程中學習的機會。最嚴重的是，這樣的心態可能導致身心分裂，甚至引發心理疾病。
要擺脫對卓越的渴望，我們必須首先接受自己，並相信自己現在已經是最好的狀態。我們需要這樣的信念：我來到這個世界，擁有這個生命，是大自然給予我的使命，這個存在本身就有意義。無論當下的生活是否如我們所願，我們都必須堅信這一點，因為只有這樣，我們才能真正完全地接受自己。
接受自己，還能幫助我們區分工具價值與內在價值。我們能夠對社會或別人有用，這是工具價值；但我們只需要對自己有用，這才是內在價值，也是我們真正價值感的來源。一旦了解到自己的真正價值，我們就可以專注於自己的成長，而不會將自己的價值與別人的評價混為一談。
我們也可以這樣思考：為了迎合他人而壓抑自己的成長，會損害我們的生命價值。不僅會損害我們的內在價值，也會損害我們的工具價值。因此，我們不必因別人的評價而改變自己。接受現在的自己，並持續成長，才是正確的道路。
接受自己，意味著我們接受自己的感受和需要，並學會照顧自己的身心健康。當我們能夠完全接受自己時，內心將不再有衝突，負面情緒也會減少。我們會常常感到喜悅，並越來越喜歡自己，不再強迫自己去符合外界對卓越的定義。
當我們擺脫了對卓越的渴望，就消除了內心矇蔽意識的障礙。隨之而來的，是更敏銳和細膩的觀察力，讓我們能夠更深刻地體察世界。這種提升的意識，將使我們的思維運作得更順暢。因此，在面對自身或外在的變化時，我們會表現得更加從容和優雅，自然會使別人對我們有更高的評價。
真正卓越的基礎在於觀察世界的能力和創造力。當我們清楚了解自己的需要，並為自己創造幸福的生活，就達到了真正的卓越。這是一個自然的發展過程，我們無法強迫自己實現目標，卻會受到各種性格特質的阻礙。因此，接受自己的一切，培養成熟的意識，擺脫習慣和欲望，讓自己更自由，才是達到卓越的最佳途徑。
43. 愛情充滿著詩意 (上一篇)
45. 建設真正的家 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (44)
Get rid of the desire for excellence
We are taught from a young age to strive for excellence, to be the best version of ourselves, and to succeed in our studies, careers, and lives. However, the desire to pursue excellence will not only hinder us from becoming excellent, but will also have a negative impact on our mental health and even make it difficult for us to achieve happiness. Therefore, excellence should not be a goal to be pursued. As long as we keep growing, we will naturally become excellent.
When we associate our worth with excellence, stress and anxiety follow. Once we feel like we can never live up to expectations, we spiral into self-doubt and depression. When we place more emphasis on what others expect of us than on our own needs, our interactions with others become strained. The desire for excellence can also cause us to focus too much on results and ignore opportunities to learn from the process. The worst thing is that such a mentality may lead to a split between body and mind, and even cause mental illness.
To get rid of the desire for excellence, we must first accept ourselves and believe that we are the best we can be right now. We need to have such a belief: Coming to this world and having this life is the mission given to me by nature, and this existence itself is meaningful. Regardless of whether our current life is what we want or not, we must firmly believe this, because only in this way can we truly and completely accept ourselves.
Accepting ourselves can also help us distinguish between instrumental value and intrinsic value. We can be useful to society or others, which is instrumental value; but we only need to be useful to ourselves, which is intrinsic value and the source of our true sense of value. Once we understand our true worth, we can focus on our own growth rather than confusing our worth with the judgment of others.
We can also think about it this way: suppressing our own growth in order to please others will damage the value of our lives. It would undermine not only our intrinsic value but also our instrumental value. Therefore, we don’t have to change ourselves because of other people’s evaluations. Accepting yourself as you are now and continuing to grow is the right path.
Accepting ourselves means we accept our feelings and needs and learn to take care of our physical and mental health. When we are able to fully accept ourselves, there will be no more inner conflict and less negative emotions. We will feel more joyful and like ourselves more and more, and no longer force ourselves to conform to the outside world's definition of excellence.
When we free ourselves from the desire for excellence, we remove the obstacles within us that cloud our consciousness. What comes with it is a sharper and more delicate observation, which allows us to experience the world more deeply. This heightened awareness will allow our minds to function more smoothly. Therefore, when facing changes in ourselves or the outside world, we will behave more calmly and elegantly, which will naturally make others have a higher evaluation of us.
The foundation of true excellence is the ability to observe the world and creativity. When we understand our needs clearly and create a happy life for ourselves, we achieve true excellence. This is a natural developmental process, and not only can we not force ourselves to achieve our goals, but we are also hindered by various personality traits. Therefore, accepting everything about ourselves, cultivating mature consciousness, getting rid of habits and desires, and making ourselves freer are the best ways to make us outstanding.
The foundation of true excellence lies in the ability to observe the world and creativity. When we understand our needs clearly and create a happy life for ourselves, we achieve true excellence. This is a natural development process. We cannot force ourselves to achieve our goals, but we will be hindered by various personality traits. Therefore, accepting everything about yourself, cultivating a mature consciousness, getting rid of habits and desires, and making yourself freer is the best way to achieve excellence.
On June 14, 2023
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