我們都渴望在生活中獲得豐盛的收穫，特別是收穫一個美滿的人際關係。然而，我們可能忽略了一項關鍵的品質：聆聽。人際關係中，聆聽扮演著非常重要的角色。它不僅是對別人聲音的聽覺接收，更是一種理解和感受別人的能力。這意味著我們能夠深入了解別人的內心，努力理解他們想要表達的內容，並感受他們的情緒。聆聽能夠反映我們的好奇心。在聆聽的時候，感官和思維都會更為敏銳，這會讓別人感受到我們對他們的興趣。
聆聽是一種穩定的接受狀態。在聆聽中，我們不會急著打斷別人的說話，也不會作情緒化的反應。這個狀態也能夠讓我們保持一種真誠的關注：如果不想聽，我們不會假裝在聽，而會表達自己的意向，讓別人節省時間和氣力。實際上，聆聽表明我們已經認識到其重要性，正全心全意地接收和理解別人情感和理性的信息。
只有保持開放的心態，我們才能真正聆聽。在別人的表達中，必定包含著許多重要的信息，即使別人的陳述不夠清晰，或者說話有誤，也能啟發我們提高自己的思辨能力。聆聽能讓我們花費的時間更有價值，不會錯過任何有用的信息。因此，當我們體驗過聆聽，就會繼續保持這種開放的心態。
聆聽還可以引發更多的意識，幫助我們更好地保護自己的生命。意識來自知識，而聆聽是學習知識的一條快捷的途徑。另一方面，世界不斷變化，聆聽能使我們掌握更多資訊，也能透過別人看到自己。從別人的信息中，我們不僅能保持對環境警覺，還能及時關注自己的真正需要。透過聆聽別人的故事或意見，我們也能從中汲取豐富的經驗和教訓，增長自己的智慧。
缺乏聆聽，我們會變得封閉和專橫，從而使自己處於不利的位置。如果總以為自己是對的，別人不認同就是錯誤，那麼我們會破壞很多有益的關係。這種封閉和專橫本質上是對別人的拒絕，會引發很多感性上的衝突。事物的真相有多個面向，沒有人能獨自看到全貌。如果別人因感到被拒絕而停止表達，我們將無法全面地了解別人的觀點，進而在生活中蒙受損失甚至傷害。
這裡有一個小故事，可以說明聆聽的重要性。某天下午在路上，Ｂ看見Ａ從對面走來，就對Ａ說"剛才看到路上有一個洞，小心點"。Ａ聽後說"好的，謝謝"。隔天Ｂ看見Ａ受了傷，問甚麼情況，Ａ說自己昨天掉到洞裡了。原來Ａ當天看到路上有個小洞，就繞了過去，心裡想那麼小的洞，Ｂ真是大驚小怪，怎知再走幾步就掉進一個大洞。故事中Ａ沒有真正聆聽，才引起意外，因為他只是從Ｂ的說話中想像路上有一個小洞，沒有繼續向Ｂ查詢詳情。這也會傷害Ｂ對Ａ的感情，因為浪費了他的一番好意。
要成為一個好的聆聽者，我們需要培養專心、耐心和愛心，並放下自己的偏見和期待。我們還需要學會運用非口語信息，例如肢體語言和面部表情。這需要我們從各方面學習和實踐，例如訓練自己的表達能力、邏輯分析能力和批判式思維。而在關係的互動中，我們需要時刻以愛為目標，願意將更多的生命時間給予對方，而適時保持沉默，在共鳴的狀態中聆聽雙方的心聲。
此外，我們需要學習提出開放式的問題和給予反饋，以確保交流暢順，以及真正理解別人的觀點。畢竟，聆聽最終對自己最有益，它不僅能讓我們及時掌握資訊，還能讓我們維持一個更健康的大腦。
聆聽還需要同情心和同理心共同協作，我們應該盡量從別人的角度去理解他們的情緒，並向別人確認。我們知道，別人與我們一樣，都想把自己的感受和需要表達出來。當我們付出時間和耐心，真正去聆聽，就是對別人的接受和關懷，也是對他們表示尊重。因此，聆聽能讓彼此產生信賴之情，使我們在互相支持中成長，並更加緊密地連結。
其實，要做到聆聽並不難，難的是具備真正和足夠的愛心。面對這個困難，我們需要深刻地認識愛的價值，及其保護生命的作用，從而做到愛自己、愛別人。當我們做到這一點，聆聽就會變成一件自然而然的事情了。
總的來說，聆聽是我們必須學會的一種重要的生活技能。即使只為自己的生命安危著想，我們也已經需要聆聽。如果需要建立良好的關係，讓自己感受到人生的幸福，那麼我們就更需要聆聽。經常聆聽，我們在人生的旅程中就會有豐富的收穫，其中當然包括美滿的人際關係。
82. 以客觀絕對的標準評斷事物 (上一篇)
84. 為自己的生命負責 (下一篇)
The path to Tranquility (83)
Listening brings us beautiful and fulfilling
relationships
We all long for abundant harvests in life, especially a beautiful and fulfilling interpersonal relationship. However, we may overlook a crucial quality: listening. In interpersonal relationships, listening plays a very important role. It is not only an auditory reception of others' voices, but also an ability to understand and feel others. This means that we can delve into others' hearts, strive to understand what they want to express, and feel their emotions. Listening reflects our curiosity. When listening, our senses and mind become more acute, making others feel our interest in them.
Listening is a stable state of acceptance. In listening, we will not rush to interrupt others' speaking, or make emotional reactions. This state also allows us to maintain sincere attention: if we don't want to listen, we won't pretend to listen, but express our intentions, allowing others to save time and effort. In fact, listening indicates that we have recognized its importance and are wholeheartedly receiving and understanding others' emotional and rational information.
Only by maintaining an open mind can we truly listen. In others' expressions, there must be a lot of important information. Even if others' statements are not clear enough, or there are mistakes in speaking, it can inspire us to improve our critical thinking skills. Listening can make our time more valuable and not miss any useful information. Therefore, once we have experienced listening, we will continue to maintain this open mind.
Listening can also trigger more consciousness , helping us better protect our own lives. Consciousness comes from knowledge, and listening is a quick way to learn knowledge. On the other hand, the world is constantly changing, and listening can enable us to grasp more information and see ourselves through others. From others' information, we can not only stay alert to the environment but also pay attention to our real needs in time. By listening to others' stories or opinions, we can also draw rich experiences and lessons from them, and increase our own wisdom.
Without listening, we can become closed and overbearing, putting ourselves at a disadvantage. If we always think that we are right and others are wrong if they disagree, we will destroy many beneficial relationships. This kind of closed and overbearing is essentially a rejection of others, which can cause many emotional conflicts. The truth of things has many facets, and no one can see the whole picture alone. If others stop expressing because they feel rejected, we will not be able to fully understand others' perspectives, and thus suffer losses or even harm in life.
Here is a little story that illustrates the importance of listening. One afternoon on the road, B saw A coming from the opposite side, and said to A, "I just saw a hole in the road, be careful." When A heard it, he said "Okay, thank you." The next day, B saw that A was injured and asked what happened. A said that he fell into a hole yesterday. It turned out that A saw a small hole on the road that day, so he bypassed it. He thought that such a small hole, B was really making a fuss, but he didn't know that he fell into a big hole after a few more steps. In the story, A did not really listen, which caused an accident, because he just imagined a small hole on the road from B's words, and did not continue to inquire about B. This will also hurt B's feelings towards A, because it wasted his good intentions.
To be a good listener, we need to cultivate concentration, patience, and love, and put down our prejudices and expectations. We also need to learn to use non-verbal information, such as body language and facial expressions. This requires us to learn and practice from various aspects, such as training our expression skills, logical analysis skills, and critical thinking. And in the interaction of relationships, we need to always aim at love, be willing to give more of our life time to other, keep silent when appropriate, and listen to the voices of both hearts in the state of resonance.
In addition, we need to learn to ask open-ended questions and give feedback to ensure smooth communication and truly understand others' perspectives. After all, listening is ultimately most beneficial to ourselves, and it not only allows us to grasp information in time but also allows us to maintain a healthier brain.
Listening also requires the cooperation of compassion and empathy. We should try our best to understand their emotions from the perspective of others and confirm to others. We know that others, like us, want to express their feelings and needs. When we spend time and patience, really listen, it is acceptance and care for others, and respect for them. Therefore, listening can make each other feel a sense of trust, allowing us to grow in mutual support and connect more closely.
In fact, listening is not difficult, but having true and sufficient love is difficult. Facing this difficulty, we need to deeply understand the value of love and its role in protecting life, so as to love ourselves and others. When we do this, listening will become a natural thing.
Overall, listening is an important life skill that we must learn. Even if we only think about safety of our own life, we need to listen. If we need to establish good relationships and feel the happiness of life, then we need to listen even more. Often listening, we will have a rich harvest in the journey of life, which of course includes beautiful and fulfilling relationships.
On July 26, 2023
留言
發佈留言