在成長的過程中，我們往往會在心靈上建造並維護一個外殼。這個外殼是一個假面具，用來掩飾自己心靈的真實面貌，同時避免受傷。這會讓我們感到疲憊和孤獨，因為我們無法與別人建立深層的聯繫。我們需要與別人合作，但總想與別人保持距離，因為擔心彼此靠得太近，我們的假面具會被別人撕下。我們希望保持一個完美的形象，所以總是不敢親近別人，但又期待他們的理解和幫助。
其實，害怕被別人看透內心，其中一個原因是擔心被別人離棄。但我們又不想離開別人，所以內心非常衝突。這種矛盾的心理，讓我們在親密關係中產生很多焦慮。另一個原因是擔心被別人發現弱點，讓別人有了攻擊的機會。這些恐懼引起矛盾，而矛盾又帶來新的焦慮，再引發更大的恐懼。這種惡性循環也會導致心理疾病。
然而，別人也可能出於同樣的情況。當兩個人都如此，互相了解就變成一個奢望。保持距離這種做法意味著一種恐懼：如果假面具被揭開，關係就會完結。我們都喜歡想像未知的事物，這也是彼此吸引的原因之一。但當我們看見彼此的真正內心，不僅會結束想像，還會知道想像與真實之間有很大的差距。
唯有克服恐懼，勇敢地向別人敞開，我們才能減少他們的想像和誤解。讓別人面對真實的我們，有助建立穩定的關係。也只有這樣，彼此才能達致真正的理解。敞開自己，我們就不必擔心別人會感到厭倦，因為能夠讓別人了解真實的我們，然後才與我們建立關係。而且，我們的心靈不是一個固化的物體，裡面不僅有很多未知的東西，還會不斷更新，足夠別人用一生去探索。
要探索心靈，融合是最有效的方式，而心靈的外殼是一個障礙。當兩個心靈靠近，剝掉由自我組成的外殼，融合在一起，距離就會消失。我們是彼此的鏡子，同時反映出你我，我中有你，你中有我。這不是一個"你和我"的關係，而是一個"我們"的狀態。這是很多人嚮往並尋覓的理想境界。
要剝掉心靈的外殼，並不像脫掉衣服那麼容易。這要求我們首先正視自己的弱點，願意接受別人的批評和建議，專注於每個當下，讓自己擁有足夠的意識。這樣我們並不會失去甚麽，反而會收穫一個真正強大的自己。
19. 心甘情願地做事 (上一篇)
21. 我們的靈魂都一樣 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (20)
Taking off the shell of the soul
During the process of growing up, we often build and maintain a shell on our souls. This shell is a mask to hide the true appearance of our souls and avoid getting hurt. This can leave us feeling exhausted and alone because we are unable to connect deeply with others. We need to cooperate with others, but we always want to keep our distance from others because we are worried that if we get too close to each other, our masks will be torn off by others. We want to maintain a perfect image, so we are always afraid to get close to others, but we also expect their understanding and help.
In fact, one of the reasons for the fear of being seen through by others is the fear of being abandoned by others. But we don’t want to leave others, so we are very conflicted inside. This ambivalence causes us to have a lot of anxiety in our intimate relationships. Another reason is the fear of being discovered for our weaknesses, which gives others an opportunity to attack us. These fears create conflicts, and conflicts bring new anxieties, which in turn trigger even greater fears. This vicious cycle can also lead to mental illness.
However, others may be in the same situation. When two people are like this, understanding each other becomes a luxury. Keeping a distance involves a fear: if the mask is removed, the relationship will end. We all like to imagine the unknown, which is also one of the reasons we are attracted to each other. But when we see each other's true minds, not only will we stop the imagining, but we will also know that there is a big gap between imagination and reality.
Only by overcoming fear and bravely opening up to others can we reduce their imagination and misunderstanding. Allowing others to face the real us helps build stable relationships. Only in this way can each other achieve true understanding. By opening ourselves up, we don’t have to worry about others getting tired of us, because we allow others to get to know the real us and then build a relationship with us. Moreover, our soul is not a solid object, it contains not only many unknown things, but also constantly updates, enough for others to explore throughout their lives.
To explore the soul, fusion is the most effective way, and the shell of the soul is an obstacle. When two souls get close, take off the shell made up of the ego, and merge together, the distance will disappear. We are mirrors to each other, reflecting both you and me at the same time, having you in me, and having me in you. This is not a "you and me" relationship, but a "we" state. This is an ideal realm that many people long for and seek.
Taking off the shell of the soul is not as easy as taking off clothes. This requires us to first face our weaknesses, be willing to accept criticism and suggestions from others, focus on each moment, and allow ourselves to have sufficient consciousness. In this way, we will not lose anything, but will gain a truly powerful self.
On May 20, 2023
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