隨著成長，我們會為自己的靈魂建造並維護一個外殼。這層外殼就像一個面具，用來隱藏心靈的真實面貌，同時保護它免受傷害。一方面我們需要與別人合作，但另一面總是想與別人保持距離。
我們想要保持一個完美的形象，總是不敢和別人親近，害怕自己的面具被撕掉，但也希望得到別人的理解和幫助。這會讓人際關係變得膚淺，讓我們感到疲憊和孤獨。
我們害怕被別人看透的原因之一，就是擔心被別人拋棄。但我們又不想離開別人，所以內心很矛盾。這導致我們在親密關係中產生許多焦慮。另一個原因，就是擔心別人發現我們的弱點，給別人攻擊的機會。這些焦慮和恐懼引發衝突，導致更嚴重的焦慮和恐懼。因此，這種惡性循環最終導致我們無法有意識地生活。
保持距離意味著擔心面具會被揭開，關係就此結束。我們都喜歡想像未知的事物，這也是彼此吸引的原因之一。然而，一旦了解到彼此的真實想法，我們就很難繼續想像，因為知道想像與現實之間存在著很大的差距。如果雙方都處於這種情況，吸引力就會逐漸減弱。可見，基於想像的關係並不穩定，可能會引起焦慮或恐懼。
透過克服恐懼，勇敢敞開心扉，可以減少別人對我們的想像和誤解。如果在建立關係之前讓別人知道我們的真實需要，就不必擔心別人會厭倦我們。我們的靈魂也不是一個固定的物體。它不僅包含很多未知的東西，而且還在不斷更新，足夠別人一生去探索。因此，只要真誠相待，我們就能建立穩定的關係，獲得到真正的理解和尊重。
探索彼此靈魂的最有效方式就是融合，所以我們必須脫掉它的外殼，清除融合的障礙。我們可以成為對方的鏡子，映照出你和我，你中有我，我中有你。如此，這就不是一個你和我的關係，而是一個沒有自我的、理想的"我們"狀態。
然而，脫掉靈魂的外殼，並不像脫掉衣服那麼容易。我們需要先正視自己的弱點，願意接受別人的批評和建議，著眼於此時此地，提高意識。這樣做我們也不會失去甚麽，反而會穫得一個真正強大的自己。
19. 心甘情願地做事 (上一篇)
21. 靈魂的本質都一樣 (下一篇)
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The path to Tranquility (20)
Taking off the shell of the soul
As we grow, we build and maintain a shell for our souls. This shell is like a mask that hides the true face of the mind while protecting it from harm. On the one hand we need to cooperate with others, but on the other hand we always want to keep distance from others.
We want to maintain a perfect image and are always afraid to get close to others, fearing that our masks will be torn off, but we also hope to get understanding and help from others. This can make relationships superficial and leave us feeling exhausted and alone.
One of the reasons why we fear being seen through by others is that we worry about being abandoned by others. But we don’t want to leave others, so we are very conflicted inside. This leads to a lot of anxiety in our intimate relationships. Another reason is that we are worried that others will discover our weaknesses and give others an opportunity to attack. These anxieties and fears trigger conflict, leading to more severe anxieties and fears. Therefore, this vicious cycle ultimately leads to our inability to live consciously.
Keeping distance means fear that the mask will be lifted and the relationship will end. We both like to imagine the unknown, which is one of the reasons why we are attracted to each other. However, once we learn what each other really thinks, it becomes difficult to continue imagining it, knowing that there is a large gap between imagination and reality. If both parties are in this situation, the attraction will gradually diminish. It can be seen that relationships based on imagination are not stable and may cause anxiety or fear.
By overcoming fear and opening up our hearts bravely, we can reduce other people's imagination and misunderstandings of us. If we let others know our true needs before entering into a relationship, we don't have to worry about others getting tired of us. Our soul is not a fixed object either. Not only does it contain a lot of unknown things, but it is also constantly updated, enough for others to explore in their lifetime. Therefore, as long as we treat each other sincerely, we can establish a stable relationship and gain true understanding and respect.
The most effective way to explore each other's souls is to integrate, so we must take off its shell and clear the obstacles to integration. We can be each other's mirror, reflecting you and me, me in you and you in me. In this way, this is not a relationship between you and me, but an ideal "we" state without ego.
However, taking off the shell of the mind is not as easy as taking off the clothes. We need to face our own weaknesses first, be willing to accept criticism and suggestions from others, focus on the here and now, and raise consciousness. We won't lose anything by doing this, but will gain a truly powerful self.
On May 20, 2023
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